Dear Aidan,
Today you turn 1. A year ago, I was pushing a shopping cart around Costco, trying to keep Katelyn and Carter close so I didn't have to chase them and stopping every few minutes for a contraction. By the time I reached the checkout, it was apparent that it was time to head to the hospital. I wasn't terribly smart about my shopping, and lifting all of those giant boxes into the van while I was having contractions was nearly impossible!
If I hadn't had to wait 2 hours while they gave me IV antibiotics, the labor would have been pretty quick. But those hours were peaceful as your dad and I watched the summer olympics and laughed, and I updated my blog to let people know what was going on. Even with the epidural, I can always feel the contractions in one spot, but I still think of those hours in the hospital with your dad, having a baby, as the most peaceful and happy times - times that I look forward to and don't dread at all, even knowing the difficulty and pain that are coming.
I made dad go home to sleep that night after you were born, partly because I couldn't imagine him trying to sleep on the chair-turned-bed in the corner of the room, and partly because I selfishly wanted to be alone with you. I fell in love with you immediately. You have the sweetest, happiest, and most loving spirit. Even now, at a year old, you snuggle with me in the morning after you wake up, before and after naps, and at night before bed, while dad and I watch tv. You are the biggest daddy's boy I've ever met, and you'll push me away in a heartbeat if your dad is in sight or if you can hear his voice. But I'm lucky enough to be at home with you every day, and I know that you love me.
That day at Costco seems like a long time ago, yet I have a hard time believing that my baby is a year old. I think it really hit me that you're growing up the other day when you brought dad your shoes and socks, then sat on his lap and lifted your little foot so he could put them on you. You're such a smart little guy. You say mama and da-da and diddy (kitty). You wave hi and goodbye and even night-night, and you love to clap your chubby little hands. You've started walking, and you're all over the place. A few nights ago, I walked outside to see what dad was doing and found you sitting on Carter's PowerWheels motorcycle. You had climbed up all by yourself and knew exactly what you were doing. If only you knew how to make it go - you would have taken off!
Now I'm having another baby, and every once in a while I worry about how it will affect you. But I know that you won't get lost in the shuffle. You're such an important part of our family. You're happy 98% of the time, and that happiness is contagious. Tanner, Katelyn, and Carter absolutely adore you, and can't pass by you without stopping to play with you. You can turn even the worst of moods into a smile. I think you'll have this role in our family no matter how many kids come after you. 
Happy birthday to my best little buddy. I love you!
Love, Mom
4 comments:
I hope you printed that letter and are planning on giving it to Aidan at some point in the future. What a sweet expression of a mother's love
I loved reading this! Especially the part about being in the hospital, right before you were going to have your baby. I have those same peaceful, wonderful feelings. I always have written a letter to my kids on their birthdays. It is such a fun time to reflect on how they've grown.
*Sniff.*
I love birth days. They are as close to heaven as we can get.
Okay, crying...how precious of a letter and how real a mother's love is. He will treasure those words forever. Melanie, I have felt the same way when I was pregnant with Gavin (right after Cody) and especially when pregnant with Peyton (right after Caleb.) I felt guilty, like I was ripping my baby off for having another baby so soon. But Heavenly Father knows and sends us our family in the best timing for us. I see that now and see blessings in my life in the timing of my kids. It sounds silly, but it is true. Looking back I was so worried about ruining Caleb, but Caleb and Peyton are best friends. They knew each other in Heaven and it was the right time for them and our family even though it was hard. I can't imagine it any other way.
I love what you said about Aidan being such a happy baby and the place he holds and will always hold in your family. What a blessing and a joy. Heavenly Father knows all and what a tender mercy and gift to have such a sweet Aidan a part of your lives. You are a wonderful, caring mother. Everything will work out for the best with another little one on his way too. :)
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