I'm sitting in my bed, holding a bunch just like this, given to me by my sweet little six-year-old. He's watched me stop on our way to school to bury my nose in these beautiful lilacs and inhale deeply. He knows how much I love them, so he wanted to bring some to me as he headed home from the park with his dad. John took the kids to play for a while, both to spend some time with them, and to give me a much needed break.
It's been a horendous week. It's only Wednesday, and I can really say that it's been awful. I spent the time while the kids were gone in the tub. It was peaceful and wonderful, and I knew it was coming to an end. So I got out and opened the bathroom door, and was smacked in the face with reality. It's still light outside. Meaning the kids aren't in bed yet, so that battle is still to be fought. The house is such a mess that I want to close my eyes and pretend it's not real. I get dressed and sit in bed. And I contemplate, seriously, running away. I could run away from it all. Clearly I'm not cut out for this, and they would all be better off with someone who can handle it all.
My thoughts are interrupted by the front door opening and my bedroom door handle being jostled from the outside. In runs Carter, yelling, "I have a surprise for you." The look on his face as he pulls the lilac blossoms from behind his back is priceless. I smile and thank him, and kiss him on the cheek. Then I listen as he runs to tell the rest of them that I loved them and gave him a kiss.
And then I sit, smelling the lilacs and sobbing.
7 comments:
Oh, Mel! What an overwhelming time you're going through--trying to get ready for such a big move. It's no wonder you feel like running away! You've had so much to deal with lately. What wonderful timing for Carter to bring in such a beautiful reminder of the things that matter most.
I hope you're not being too hard on yourself and that you're giving yourself credit for the things you DO accomplish, instead of looking around at all that you haven't gotten done. (Advice that's so much easier to give than to actually implement, I know...)
I wish, wish, wish I could be there to help out in some way. A phone call just isn't enough. Hang in there! You'll make it through all this! I love you!
What a sweet boy. I’ve always loved lilacs too. I’m glad you had that tender mercy in the middle of what is obviously an incredibly busy and stressful time. Moving with five children is a big deal!
I am so sorry, Mel. What a sweet, sweet boy Carter is. There is nothing worse than moving, it is so hard and there are so many things to consider. Hang in there, friend.
Melanie, what's going on? It never fails, the kids always pull through when I feel my crappiest. We need to go to dinner.
I love Stephanie's comment. I would have tried to say the same thing, though much less eloquently!
We all feel like running away sometimes. Don't feel bad for feeling bad!! You know? It's okay to get down sometimes as long as you get back up, and you always do! Lilacs help with the bouncing :)
What a sweet boy, I have a sweet Carter too, and it is amazing how sensitive a 6 (or 7 year old in my case) can be. I wont say I know exactly how you are feeling, but believe me, I too have felt totally overwhelmed, like my house is a disaster and nothing is going right! I'm glad you have a supportive husband that can take the kids and let you have some time alone. Sometimes that makes all the difference. Hang in there and know that you are not alone:)
What a touching story. Carter has a tender heart.
Moving is a mammoth job and you are going to get it done! You have already made such great progress. The hardest part about helping you is thinking about how I'm helping you leave!
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