7 Years

Today is the 7th anniversary of my marriage to my sweetheart. In celebration, here are 7 things that make me happy to be married to him:

1. I laugh more when I'm with John than all of the time I spend without him. I honestly believe that this is the reason our marriage has lasted and will last forever.


2. We complement each other so well. He is a go-getter while I'm a major procrastinator. He's scientific-minded while I'm more artistic. He's rational while I'm emotional. We really balance each other out.


3. John lets me think I'm really smart by pretending he can never find anything so that I can find it for him. ;)


4. We love to spend our leisure time together. We spend the most time by far watching movies and t.v., probably because we have limited time at night, and we can do that in short intervals. Before we had kids (and when we had money) we loved to go golfing and LOVED to go out to eat. Now we like to hang out with the kids, or take everyone to Costco to browse and eat. And fishing is fast becoming a favorite family activity.


5. I can't imagine a better father for my children. John's top priority in life is making the kids happy, as you can tell from the amusement park that is our backyard. And the kids would rather play with their dad than do anything else.


6. My husband is the hardest worker I know. Besides bringing home a paycheck so we can eat and wear clothes, and studying all the time so he can do well in his career, he takes really good care of us physically. Since we've been married, I haven't had to mow a lawn, change my oil or rotate my tires. He makes sure the grass is watered, the garbage is on the curb Wednesday mornings, and he fixes whatever needs it. I'm a pampered woman.


7. We make really cute kids together. (I admit I may be a little biased on this.) I absolutely adore our little (growing) family!

Happy anniversary, hubby. I'm excited to see what another 7 years of marriage will bring...

Poor Katelyn

Katie's going through a new phase, and let me tell you - it's one I'm not comfortable with at all. Lately when we've got a group of kids together playing, particularly at our house, she separates herself from the group and feels sorry for herself that the kids aren't begging her for her presence. This involves a lot of sulking and hiding in corners. I've tried talking to her and urging her to involve herself in the other kids' play, but to no avail. Even when we've had Tanner repeatedly invite her to join him, she holds back. No amount of attention is enough.

I'm worried that this "victim mentality" is going to become a permanent part of her personality. I do NOT like to see her pulling away from the other kids and feeling sorry for herself. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, and that she'll grow out of it. So I'm asking, have any of you experienced similar phases with your 4-year-olds? Do you have any advice on how to handle it, or is there hope that she'll grow out of it? For now, I'm trying to explain to her that it's her responsibility to make herself a part of the group. I want to be sensitive to her emotions, but I don't want to encourage the behavior. Any ideas?

Curiosity

Katelyn and Carter and I were in the car today when Katie asked the question. "Mom, is the baby going to come out of your mouth?" I knew I'd be faced with this subject matter eventually, I just didn't expect it to come in such funny words. I wanted to laugh hysterically, but at the same time I wanted to teleport John directly into the front seat to help me with a response. I gave her a vague answer that passified her temporarily, and vowed to give her a better, albeit it not too thorough, answer at a more appropriate time (i.e., when I've had more time to think about it and carefully plan my words). Then, of course, I called John immediately because I had to share the moment with him. Four-year-olds are too precious!

How ironic that for the last 13 days, every time you've looked at my blog you've read the title of my last post, "About time for a new post, don't you think?"! It is definitely time that I update you on what's going on in my world. I'm just struggling for the right words.

A week ago yesterday, Tanner's mom passed away. (If you don't know, Tanner is my 12-year-old stepson.) This was a huge shock to everybody - most of all, I'm sure, to Tanner. His mom has been sick for a long time, but we always hoped that he wouldn't be faced with this until he was much older. We found out from a mutual friend, and it took us several days before we were able to reach Tanner. We were so worried about him and how he was handling things, that it made for a rough week. We finally got to spend a few hours with him Thursday evening. The funeral was on Saturday. It is heart-wrenching to watch a young child grieve the loss of a parent.

As you can imagine, there are big changes in store for our little family. We'll be meeting with Tanner's stepdad and grandma this week to iron out the details, so I hesitate to say much yet. I can tell you that I am overwhelmed and terrified to take on a bigger role in Tanner's life. At the same time, I look forward to spending more time with him - I love Tanner so much!

Like I said before, I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings right now. I feel like I'm in limbo and that is a paralyzing feeling for me. I think I'll feel better when the decisions have been made and the ball is rolling.

My heart goes out to Tanner and his brother, his stepdad, his grandparents, and anyone else who is missing Jayme right now.

About time for a new post, don't you think?

This is my new garden fence, built for me by my loving husband. (The picture's not so great, but it shows you what kind of day we're having, and explains why I'm in the mood and have time for blogging.) I am in awe of my hubby's ability to do anything he sets his mind to. He had never attempted to build a fence or gate before this, but we went to Home Depot and he figured out what to buy, and how much, and by the end of the day we had a beautiful fence. And then he spent hours upon hours painting it white. What a sweetheart, huh?

Inside of this fence is my new obsession, and will be the majority of my time and efforts this summer. I've never planted a garden before. Yes, I've had cherry tomato plants in pots on apartment patios, but that was never very successful. I'd better get more of a return from this endeavor, or we'll have wasted a lot of time and money! In my garden I have tomatoes, roma tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, green peppers, red peppers, serrano peppers, jalapenos, green beans, zucchini, crookneck squash, cucumber, watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, pumpkin, carrots, yellow onions, green onions, swiss chard, strawberries, and a bunch of herbs. I've also lined the tall fence with sunflowers that I hope will grow to 6 feet. Can you tell I'm a little excited?

Can I tell you what I hate about gardening? Morning glory! I've never dealt with this weed before, but a lifelong battle has begun, and it's already threatening to defeat me. I spent close to 8 hours weeding on Monday, which was fine at the time, but I could barely pick my feet up to walk yesterday. I'm almost as stiff today, so I guess I'm lucky it's raining. I'm just worried that the rain is feeding the weeds and I'll have to start all over when the sun comes out.

I know I'm not the only one gardening this year. If you are, I'm dying to know what you're growing. And if not, what are you doing with your summer? Any fun plans or big projects?

Another bad trip (to Walmart)

You may remember that I've had some rough times at Walmart in the past. Despite the fact that I hate everything about the store - it's dirty, the people who shop there are dirty, it's way too big so you feel like you've run a marathon by the time you finish shopping - I continue to do my grocery shopping there because of the savings. I know, I've written about this subject before. So I was doing my grocery shopping on Wednesday, already having had a pretty tough morning, thanks to both the kids and the dog. I was doing my best to be patient and take my time. The kids were going nuts, running around and being wild, knocking things off of the shelves and driving me crazy in the process. I pulled each child aside several times and calmly but firmly explained what behavior I was unhappy with and what expectations I had, but nothing was getting through to them. We had made it to the checkout and were almost homeward bound when everything spiraled out of control. Katelyn pushed Carter down so that he hit his face on the floor. She was being wild and playing, not intentionally hurting him, but it was the last straw for me. I put her in the shopping cart and told her to stay there, and she lost it. At this point she was in full-on tantrum mode, kicking and screaming and flailing her body. Several employees were trying to help me load the groceries into the cart, and a nice old lady thought she was helping by trying to talk to Katelyn. Unfortunately, none of these things helped. I ended up pushing the shopping cart to the car with Carter holding on to one side of it and Katelyn under my arm, kicking and spitting and screaming. She continued this as I strapped her into her carseat, loaded Carter and the groceries into the van, and drove home. I was determined to maintain my composure, although I wanted to break down in tears or scream my head off at her. Both kids fell asleep about 10 seconds before we pulled into the garage, so I carried them to their beds. My lucky hubby called at that precise moment and got an earful of the tears I had been trying to hold back.

Katelyn awoke just a few minutes later. I had been trying to figure out how to get through to her. I gave her some paper and asked her to draw a picture of what she had done wrong at the store, and another picture of what she would do next time. I wasn't quite prepared for what I would get. When she brought me the pictures, I had to choke back the laughter. She was so dead-on with what she had done wrong, and the pictures were pretty good representations for a 4-year-old. Take a look:

This is Katelyn pushing Carter. I'm holding her hand.

This is Katelyn screaming in the shopping cart. I'm pushing.

This is Katelyn screaming in her carseat.

This says, "Mom, I love you."

This is Mom, Katelyn & Carter, happy.

In hindsight, I can think of some things I could have done to make our shopping trip more successful. So I'm learning. And I think Katelyn is, too. I was surprised at how clearly she saw her behavior and her knowledge of right and wrong. And I'll treasure these drawings forever. Hopefully she'll forgive me for sharing them with the world.

Sweet Little Nothings

Sometimes I get extremely overwhelmed by housework. We had a really fun weekend, but we managed to trash the house in the process. On Sunday night, I looked around me and felt like running for the hills or burying my head in the sand. It was bedtime, and the kids were getting in the tub. Suddenly the thought came to me that I LOVE getting my kids out of the bath, slathering them with lotion so they smell like heaven, drying Katelyn's hair, trimming their nails…it's a bonding experience that I cherish, and I love the clean little angels that emerge. So I decided to forget about the mountain of dishes and my filthy floor and just enjoy the time with my kids before I put them to bed.

Walking to my ward book club tonight with a neighbor, she reminded me how fast the time goes by, and to enjoy this time while my kids are little. I know this, and I'm reminded of it quite often, but I need those reminders. And it's so true. I look at my kids and can't imagine how they've gotten so big and grown-up already. I DO want to make the most of this time.

Of course, as I've been writing this, my kids have turned into naughty little monsters in the tub. So I'm going to go yank them out by their hair pull them out gently and try to recreate the peaceful feeling I had on Sunday night.