Sunday, June 5, 2011

Sunday is.....

  • a day of rest. Or is it?
  • a constant attempt to keep peace. I start with music to set the tone, and with a lot of patience. Eventually the music gives way to unauthorized cartoons and video games, and the shouting of fighting children, and my patience wanes.
  • constant strategizing. Whom to dress first? How soon before leaving? My babies can destroy themselves, the house, and the rest of the kids in a matter of minutes if I turn my head.
  • a huge mess. Try as I might, I can't keep order on Sunday mornings. The kids wreak havoc on our kitchen while they eat breakfast......about 10 times between 6 am and 11. I swear I try to stuff them with their first breakfast, but they think they'll starve to death if they don't repeat the process 5 times before church! And believe me, I don't want hungry kids on my hands for the first 70-minute meeting at church.
  • nagging, nagging, nagging. "Get dressed!" "Why don't you have your shoes on?" "Did you get your stuff ready to go?" "GET IN THE CAR!!!"
  • one giant wrestling match. From the baths, which are inevitable for at least the little ones, even if they've had baths Saturday night, to the fighting on of dress shirts, vests, ties, etc, to the buckling of carseats, to the time on the bench for that first 70 minutes. If I'm not trying to hold one squirmy little one and keep him quiet, I'm holding onto 2 and reaching for a 3rd, who might be as old as 5 or 7 and should know better than to create the disturbance he/she is creating!
  • physically exhausting due to the previously mentioned wrestling match.
  • emotionally exhausting. Far too much frustration, disciplining, begging and pleading, questioning looks from those around us, imagined criticism from the onlookers, and beating up of myself for the loss of patience, raised voice, and complete inability to handle it all.
I take 5 kids to church by myself. Every other week, we add a sixth when we bring my stepson's 10-year-old brother. I choose to do this, so I don't feel like I have a right to complain. Then there are days like today, when I invite another mom to bring her kids to church by herself. She's been wanting to get back to church for months now, and just needs a little help coaxing the kids. (Why do I think I can help? I can't even get my own family there in one piece!) Unfortunately, it's a 6-kid day, my baby has been up all night sick and crying, my 2-year-old is up to his usual tricks, and my husband is out of town. And to top it all off, both babies fall asleep on the way to church. Of course church time coincides with nap time, and waking a super tired baby at nap time results in screaming and a very grumpy child. So can I possibly wake 2 babies and drag them into church by myself? No!

I sent the big kids in without me, meaning that I kind of abandoned the friend I was supposed to be sitting with, although it worked out in the end. But I melted down completely and had to reenter the building later with swollen, tear-stained eyes and groggy babies. I thought it might finally clue someone into the fact that I'm in over my head, but no such luck. Next week I'm in charge of sharing time. Pray for me......

9 comments:

[alisar] said...

You are going to be glad you did this someday! I think... :) Keep your head up girlfriend. Lots of love from Pittsburgh!

Amy Sorensen said...

{{{{hugs}}}}

I know just how you feel. Well, almost. I've only ever wrestled three little ones at once, but still. It is exhausting and frustrating instead of being rejuvinating and peaceful. I think that for some people it does eventually get better. (I'm still waiting for that day. My 13-year-old is the WORST during sacrament meeting, which is insane, but there you have it.)

You're a good friend to encourage and help your friend. You will be blessed!!!

amy morgan said...

I think...(silently, because I don't want to make things worse at your house or mine by saying it out loud) that Sunday is Satan's favorite day. Man, he's good. at being bad. and causing COMPLETE CHAOS.
But look at you!! You beat him AGAIN (p.s. in this case, children coming HOME alive counts as a victory! What happens after that doesn't count!) ;) So GOOD JOB. One more week down - -

BAK said...

You are amazing! I don't know how you do it; I get tired with my two. In fact, I told them I should start charging them a dime every time I have to say "don't" or "stop." I would be a millionaire by the time they turned 18, I'm positive.

Hang in there! You do a great job.

kim said...

Melanie you are in an inspiration to so many moms out there. It would be way to easy to throw up your hands and let satan win, but you don't you persevere. So things may not go the exact way that we would like them too our house may be messy the kids may be messy, but we are teaching them something very important, we're teaching them the importance of attending our meetings, the importance of attending and taking the sacrament, and YOU are teaching them how to be a good friend and missionary.

You are an amazing woman, wife and mother, don't let Sundays get you down, remember Satan will do anything to keep you from raising your children in the gospel, stand strong and no that you are loved and admired by so many around you.

Anonymous said...

You are a good example to me (who needs it for sure). I admire how you work so hard at your calling and persevere with the kids. I like what Alisa said about how you will be glad you did this someday. I need to hear this too, that our kids are going to someday remember our efforts and they can see what is important to us. It's so frustrating though when you come home frustrated after all that work... I need to be more like you and keep trying even when it is so hard...
Cassie

Stephanie said...

Ditto: Someday you will be SO glad you fought the Sunday battle!!! You'll never regret it--as awful as it can be. You are one TOUGH mama and are admired and revered by all of your true friends! I don't think I'll ever understand how hard you have it, but every once in a while I get a glimpse of your life when Cory is sick at home and I go to church alone with the kids. I firmly believe God will (and probably already does!) bless you richly for what you are doing right now, Mel. And He knows exactly how difficult it is for you. Please, please don't give up! In the meantime, thank heavens there's an entire week between Sundays, right?!

Becky said...

I admire you so much! I have a friend who won't take her 2 kids to church by herself when her husband has to work. And you take 5 (or 6) all by yourself every week! Definitely a labor of love.

Elise said...

i'm with alisa... hang in there : )