Someone is taunting me

This ad appeared on Craigs List tonight. John has been watching KSL and Craigs List religiously for the last 10 months and has never seen a monkey posted in the free sections. Is this a sign?

You make me happy, when skies are gray

One of the best things I've done for myself since we moved into our home was to plant bulbs in the fall. I think I've already mentioned that I spent hours in the front yard in the dark, hunched over digging holes for the 90+ bulbs that I planted. I was sore for two days, and had no skin left on my hands, but it was totally worth it. Watching my bulbs come up has been exciting and uplifting. Let me take you through my journey this spring:

Across the front of our house, I planted daffodils, tulips, hyacinths, pansies, and grape hyachinths. We have ugly red mulch covering the flowerbed, but I can't really afford to change that and I'm not sure what I would do if I did, so I just planted them in the midst of it and I'm glad I did. I'm sure I'll figure out how to make the flowerbeds my own in the next few years, but at least I have something started now.

Now that it's all come up, I like the design my sister helped me come up with, to alternate the flowers in a long row. But looking at everyone else's bulbs, I'm excited for mine to grow more full in the coming years.

I also planted a ring of bulbs around the lamp post out front. I alternated tulips and daffodils, and put crocuses around the outside.

I have gotten so much joy out of watching my little babies peek their heads up and then grow taller and bloom. Even on the days when it's cold and overcast, I have this beautiful spray of color across the front of my house. It makes me smile. Every time I step out of my house, here's what I see:

For a while, the daffodils were the tallest and the brightest, but the tulips have bloomed just in time for the daffodils to start to fade a little. (Notice the little landscaping lights that John installed along the front earlier this spring. It looks really cool at dusk!) I'm sure someday I'll look back on this little attempt of mine and think that I had no idea what I was doing, but for right now, I'm perfectly satisfied. I only wish all of you could come stand here and look with me.

Haven't you always wanted a mon-key?!

You have to channel the Barenaked Ladies here and "If I had a million dollars". While you're at it, remember their song, "Another postcard with chimpanzees"? John got so sick of me singing that song in the car! These guys must be men after my own heart.

If you haven't caught on yet, I love monkeys. (Yes, I realize that chimps aren't technically monkeys, they're apes. I probably like apes better than monkeys in reality, but that subject is for another day. For my purposes here, they're all going to be called monkeys.) I have wanted a pet monkey for as long as I can remember. It may have originated when I was really little and I watched Bedtime for Bonzo (remember the old Ronald Reagan classic?) with my parents. I remember discussing it with my mom, because she would always tell me about one of her elementary school teachers who had a monkey and had her entire backyard fenced in, including the top, so the monkey couldn't get out. Telling me that monkeys had to wear diapers just made it seem that much more fun. By the way, do monkeys always have to wear diapers, or can you potty train them?

So, I came to a pivotal moment in my life a week ago. I passed up my chance to have a monkey of my very own. Seriously. Here's what happened. John and I were sitting around chatting on a Sunday afternoon. He was surfing the web, checking his Free Stuff on KSL website every minute or so, as usual. And a free monkey popped up. Right there in front of his eyes. He was probably the first person to read the posting. So he asked me, "Do you want a monkey?" (He already knew the answer to this question, mind you. He knows me very well.) And I had to decide then and there if I wanted to make my lifelong dream come true.

I watched the dog run around the back yard, and looked down at my growing abdomen, and contemplated the question. Of course I want a monkey. I have ALWAYS wanted a monkey. But now that I have kids and a puppy and a baby on the way - now is the worst time to be confronted with this. I cannot take care of a monkey right now, or anytime soon, for that matter. The clock ticked as we discussed it. John kept saying, "It's in Ogden. We can call right now and go get it." After four agonizing minutes, the monkey was marked sold, and it was all over.

From the picture, the monkey looked similar in size and type to the one Ross had on Friends. The description didn't give a lot of detail. I don't know if the monkey wears diapers, or how old it is. I do know that his favorite food is Doritos. Not a lot to go on. But I think it's safe to say that I made a wise decision. If this had come up before Katelyn came along, I can assure you that we'd have moved out of our apartment to find somewhere monkey-friendly. That's how serious I am about my love of monkeys. I take my kids to the zoo so that I can spend an hour in the ape house, and then another hour in the monkey house.

So I had the chance. My husband would have let me do it. And I willingly gave up something that I have always wanted. I guess that's what it means to be an adult.

Bye, bye, monkey......

Random Musings

Hi. My name is Melanie, and this is my blog. I love blogging, but I cannot seem to balance keeping my life in order and finding time to blog. What is my problem? I know that the rest of you do it. Any tips? For two weeks, I kept my house perfectly spotless, the laundry was kept up, I planned menus and cooked dinners, and I shopped when necessary to keep our fridge stocked. And then I got overwhelmed (yes, again) with my husband getting home close to midnight too many nights, and having to study on the nights when he got home earlier. And I crashed. With me came the house, the laundry, the fridge, and my spirits. So I'm recovering, but I miss blogging, so I'm taking a minute to say hi.

Katelyn had a neighbor friend here today. They came inside to play, and as they went down the stairs I heard Katelyn explain, "I have no idea why this light switch goes down to turn on, but it just does." You know, the light has a switch at the top and the bottom, so you never know if you have to switch it up or down. But my little 4-year-old sounded hilarious explaining this to her friend. I had no idea she was even capable of such a thought. These are the things that I want to preserve, and since I'm terrible at journaling, I want to at least put them on my blog occasionally. Actually, I have a million and one blog posts in my head, and even a couple drafts started, but I never seem to make the time to publish them. I hope I can get my act together and get back into the game.

I said this not too long ago, but I feel the need to repeat myself. I am so grateful for all of my blogging friends. When I actually take a minute to read your blogs - which I have not done often at all lately, and certainly haven't commented - I am uplifted and inspired. I feel like I'm not all alone in this world, and like we're sharing a lot of the same struggles. When I get an invitation to a blog that's gone private, it makes my day. It probably seems like I'm not reading or not interested, but I crave the companionship you give me. So thank you! And thanks for checking my blog even though you know in your heart there will be nothing new, and thanks for your comments when I actually get something posted. I really value your friendship, and vow to be a better friend to all of you.

Why I blame Walmart for the lousy meals I've been serving lately

I served my family Hamburger Helper for dinner Wednesday night. To me, this is the equivalent of giving them garbage on a plate - full of chemicals with names I can't pronounce, let alone understand, completely devoid of any nutritional value, and chock full of fat and calories. Now don't get me wrong. I think it's ok to serve the occasional nutritionless meal, but I have been really struggling lately. Dinner time rolls around and the last thing I want to do is cook. Nothing ever sounds good to me, so I fight the urge EVERY SINGLE NIGHT to drive to Papa Murphy's and grab a pizza that I know everyone will like and will require minimal effort to prepare. Unfortunately, our budget doesn't really allow for that kind of extravagance, and then you have the whole fat/calories issue.

I was pretty good about menu planning before this last month or two. I would come up with a list of meals for the week, make my grocery list accordingly, and head off to Walmart for the grand shopping expedition. And there, my friends, is the rub. I can't do Walmart anymore. I know, I know - some of you are cringing and wondering why I would shop there anyway. Yes, we've seen the documentary about the evils of the retail giant, but we decided that the savings outweighed the accusations against the place and have continued shopping there. But my last Walmart trip just about did me in. I'm not kidding you - I was so exhausted by the time we were done that I could barely push the shopping cart to the car. This pregnancy is wearing me out already!

So if I were sticking to my usual shopping regimen, I would have the ingredients in my house for a meal or two at supper time. Even if nothing sounded good, I could force myself to cook and by the time it was ready, I'd be able to sit down and eat with my family. But I've been avoiding that oversized store like the plague, so I have nothing in my fridge or cupboards, and I'm forced to get creative (not in a good way), or head to the store for ingredients to whatever I can stomach.

There is a delightful alternative to Walmart just around the corner from my house. Oh sweet shopping bliss, thy name is Harmon's. I have never been in a store that made me quite so happy. The people who work at Harmon's are friendly and helpful. They offer a service they call "drive and load" which, although I don't use it much, is very helpful. They keep your groceries while you drive up to the special "drive and load" door, then you sit in your car while a nice boy loads everything in for you. The first time I used this service, they even gave me a little plastic garbage bag that fits over the cigarette lighter in my van. Isn't that sweet? The store is small enough that a trip to the dairy section in the back doesn't feel like a marathon, yet big enough to contain my every grocery desire. The meat is legendary for its quality, and the produce section is full of beautiful, unbruised and colorful fruits and veggies. (Not at all like picking through the bruised apples at that other store!) Everything is grand, until I start looking at the prices. Here's a little example for you. Velveeta at Walmart - $3.99. Velveeta at Harmon's - $6.99. (Please don't ask why I would ever purchase Velveeta. I promise my family won't all die of heart attacks at early ages.) I probably don't have to tell you that I just can't afford to do my regular grocery shopping at Harmon's.

So here's how we ended up eating Hamburger Helper for dinner. I went to pick up Tanner like I do every Wednesday night at 5:30. I had no idea what we were going to eat (a little late to still be clueless, don't you think?), so we stopped at Harmon's on our way home. (I allow myself to go there for small grocery runs because there's no such thing as a quick in-and-out at Walmart.) I allowed Tanner to decide what sounded good for dinner. Feeling disgusted with myself, I also grabbed the ingredients for two yummier and healthier dinners to finish off the week. I also picked up a yellow squash and a zucchini, which I served with the hamburger slop. Now maybe you don't think I'm quite so bad. And last night the menu included spinach and roasted red peppers in a parma rosa sauce, served over angel hair pasta, and salad with almonds, craisins, and feta cheese, topped with a delightful raspberry vinaigrette. There, have I redeemed myself?

Broken hearted

The dog was the cause of a casualty today. I didn't realize that Katelyn left her stuffed unicorn outside last night. (Actually, it's a washable pony that you can draw on, but to her, it's a unicorn.) She got it from her aunt Shauna for Christmas, and she really loved it. So you can imagine her sadness when she realized that this:

had turned to this:

She came running inside crying, and said in the saddest voice ever, "Mom, I left my unicorn outside, and it exploded!" I have to admit, I was pretty curious. It didn't occur to me at first that the dog had gotten to it. And it was really hard not to laugh, because the term "exploded" put quite the picture in my mind. I ran outside with her to see what had happened, and her description was pretty accurate. I wanted to cry myself as my little girl gazed at the wreckage that was once her beloved unicorn and sobbed over the loss of her toy. It recalled similar feelings of loss that I experienced as a child. Oddly enough, nothing specific comes to mind, but I know that, just like any other kid, I went through this a million times. The feeling was so familiar.

Without sounding unsympathetic, I turned it into a lesson about leaving toys outside. But let me tell you, I really wanted to run straight to Walmart and replace the darned thing. Yes, she has a gajillion stuffed animals, and yes, she really needs to learn this lesson, but wouldn't it make her so happy to get a bright shiny new unicorn? After all, that's what I would have wanted as a child. I think my resolve to not get ANY MORE STUFFED ANIMALS was what really kept me from getting her a new one. Guess I'm not really as nice as I thought.

We're having a baby boy! OK, if you live anywhere near me, you know that I've had this information for weeks now. (Thank you to those of you who've inquired about my well-being during my long blogging absence.) I am so lucky to have a husband in radiology. I got to find out the sex of our baby in week 14! In the past, my doctor has always made me wait until week 20. Really, knowing that the baby's a boy hasn't changed my behavior in the slightest, except maybe that I've had good reason to not buy all of the cute little spring dresses I oooh and aaah over at this time of year. Oh, and I spend a lot of time trying to think of boy names, to no avail. We have not come up with a single name that both of us really like. Good thing we've got so much time.....

So, to answer some of your questions, and to seem totally self-absorbed, here's an update. I feel great! I feel better than I ever have at this stage of pregnancy. With my past pregnancies, I've vomited from week 8 to week 40. It's been over a week now since my last....well, you know. I have to thank my hubby for his role in this. He wrote me a prescription for Zofran, which is my favorite anti-nausea. (I still get a little thrill when I see his name on my pill bottle!) Now when I start to feel that icky, spinny, excess saliva in my mouth feeling, I pop a pill. I think this works for my body and my mind, tricking me into not being sick. I have to say that I took Zofran the entire time I was pregnant with Katelyn and it did NOT work this well. I could rarely go a day without worshipping the porcelain goddess back in that fun 9 month period. So hopefully I'll just be less sick with each pregnancy.

I guess that's enough sick talk. I'm so thankful to be feeling good again! Of course, I'm still a paranoid pregnant woman. I started worrying that I haven't been able to recognize any movement yet, so when I was at the hospital to have some blood tests done on Wednesday, John took me into an ultrasound room and we peeked at the baby. He's just fine! He was putting his cute little hand up to his face and moving all over the place. On Thursday night I thought I could feel some little somersaults. I think they were real, because I've been feeling more - it's getting to be that time of pregnancy.

So about the boy thing.....I really thought I wanted a girl. To tell you the truth, I felt a little cheated at our first ultrasound (at 8 weeks) when there was only one fetus. I really thought I'd get to have twins to make up for how long it took to get this baby. I know, not only is that selfish, but I highly doubt that I have the skills to deal with twins, especially with my other kids being 2 and 4! Anyway, I was hoping for a girl so I could get out all of the little dresses and pink everythings. But once the idea of a boy settled in my mind, it really makes sense. Carter will have a little boy closer to his age to play with. The baby will be pretty far apart from Katelyn in age anyway, so she can wait for a sister, although she's made me promise that she'll get one someday. I hope I can keep that promise! Now Katelyn has a lot of pressure on her because she's the only girl. I decided, subconsciously at first, that if I only had one girl, she'd have to be super girly. I realized I was feeling this way when she was wearing a dress for no reason for the third day in a row. I even made her a little spring dress (pictures to come) this week. We're going to have fun being the only girls in the family for a while! And I'm excited for my little boy.