For Shauna

What do you get when you combine:

• 8 cake mixes
• 3 cups of oil
• 2 dozen eggs
• 3 cups of butter
• 5 pound of marshmallows
• 20 pounds of powdered sugar
• a little bit of milk
• a few teaspoons of vanilla
• some food coloring
• ribbon
• and a pretty bow?

First you get this:

Then this:

And finally this:

Here's the cake at Shauna's reception:

And here's Shauna with her mom, my sweet mother-in-law Rose:

Congratulations, Shauna! You're an awesome sister-in-law!

* This was my first wedding cake, and will be my last unless one of my kids wants me to make them one someday. I baked all day yesterday, and started the frosting/decorating at 9:30 this morning. I had to pause a few times to feed a starving baby, but other than those breaks I worked straight through until 5:30, when we left for the reception. Wow, I can't believe it's over!!

Happy Birthday, Rose!

My sister-in-law just got married and is having a reception next week. Well, for some crazy reason she asked me if I'd make a cake for her. She showed me a few pictures of what she has in mind, and I told her I hope she doesn't regret trusting me with such a big responsibility, especially since I've never made a wedding cake before. I knew I'd need to practice, and I had the perfect opportunity when we decided to throw my mother-in-law a birthday party. For the practice cake, I simply used my 2 9-inch round pans and layered them, then frosted them with buttercream and covered them in fondant. Here's what I came up with:

I have to thank my mom for bringing me the ingredients and being my moral support as I kneaded powdered sugar into melted marshmallows for what seemed like hours. She was also great help when Aidan decided to dump a bag of powdered sugar on the floor behind me while I worked on the fondant. I learned a lot in the practice round, so hopefully the wedding cake will look a little more professional. It will be 3 layers, so it will be quite a bit more involved. I know what I'll be doing next Friday and Saturday!

And for those of you who don't have mischievous 20-month-olds running around your house, here's what happens to your beautiful cake while you're throwing in a load of laundry (luckily this didn't happen until after the party when there were only a few pieces left):

But could you get mad at this face?

Do you?

I'm sitting on my couch, using the computer we have hooked up to our TV in the living room, staring up at a screen on the mantel. My computer in the kitchen hasn't worked for weeks now. I can look at things, but I can't comment on blogs or on Facebook. I can't even post to my blog or pay my bills. I'm sure you can sense my frustration.

The weekend took its usual toll on my house, which I've been trying so hard to keep clean. I should be able to get things back in shape, but my baby has screamed most of the morning. I can't tell if it's his gums, which have been swollen and sore, or his belly, which tends to fill with gas easily, or if it's just general discomfort. But I can't seem to keep him happy. Right now he's in his car seat on the floor watching me, semi-content for a few minutes - hopefully long enough for me to finish this post. Of course, I'm risking that Aidan will destroy something while I'm not giving him my full attention. He already spent the maximum time he can stand locked in his high chair eating lunch. Guess I'd better get to the point, huh?

I'm overwhelmed. I feel like a failure most of the time. I can't seem to keep our house clean, our affairs in order, and the kids happy all at once. At least one of those things suffers while I'm attending to the others, and sometimes I'm unsuccessful in every area at once. So here's the dilemma: My husband gave me the go-ahead months ago to have a service come to help do some of the cleaning in our home. This is something I've always dreamed of, but when the option was presented to me, I immediately dismissed it, feeling like it would be proof of my failure as a mother. I can take care of things myself. I know how to clean. I don't even mind cleaning - there's something therapeutic about it, kind of like weeding. But when things are not clean, and I can't get to it because I'm running kids around town or soothing crying babies, the mess really bothers me. I hate the smudges on the door frames and the walls, the dirt on the baseboards, the cobwebs that come out of nowhere. Even when the toys and clothes are all put away, there are things I want done that I can't seem to get to. Last night I decided that today's the day - I'm calling for some quotes. And yet I've spent the morning, on the brink of a meltdown with my crying baby, paralyzed and unable to make the calls. How can I have someone else do what I should be capable of myself, even if I'm paying them?

I don't think I'm alone. Don't most of us have trouble reaching out for help? People always offer to help with the kids if we need a break, but how many of us will actually call that favor in? I want to know - do you ask for help when you need it? Would you pay someone to clean your bathrooms?

P.S. I just set up an in-home estimate for tomorrow with one company and left a message with my name and number for another.