Breaking my children's hearts, one dog at a time

I think I'm the worst mom ever. Now that I say that, I could list a thousand points that support it, but let's not go there today. I'm feeling lousy about my parenting skills right now because I just made my kids say goodbye to their dog and watch her ride away in someone else's car. Why? Let me give you some history.

A few years ago we got a puppy. She was a terrier mix, and she was the worst dog we could have chosen for our family. She barked constantly, and she nipped at the kids. We couldn't take the noise, and we couldn't protect our kids from her every minute, so after almost 2 years of trying to make it work, we found her a new home. We found a nice older couple who wanted a dog as a surrogate child, and I felt great about it. The kids still ask about Tessie quite often.

A few months after parting with Tessie, we felt ready to try a different dog. We had looked at lots of different kinds of dogs, and had long discussions about what would fit our family. We felt certain that we needed a big dog that was smart and gentle. Enter Sadie, our golden lab/retriever puppy. We tried so hard to love her and make her fit our family. She did all of the things that puppies do - mainly, she chewed our house to pieces. She ripped apart toys, shoes, tools, and lawn furniture. I blamed myself for leaving things out, because I know that puppies need to chew. I bought her chew toys and tried to be vigilant about keeping things out of her reach. John built her a nice little dog run so that we could lock her up when other kids came around - her size was pretty intimidating. Here's what she did to it:

Her undoing came when she decided to start ripping our trees out of the ground. We planted a couple of baby trees at the end of spring and she would not leave them alone! Each time, we tried to save the tree the first time she ripped it out, and I tried putting cages around them, spraying them with dog repellant, everything I could think of. And each time, she got to it a second or third time and shredded the poor thing so that it was beyond saving. It got to the point where I didn't dare leave her outside without looking out the window every 3 minutes. With a baby on the way, this just wasn't going to work. And with all of this destruction, I was dealing far too often with an angry husband who wanted the dog gone. Our final realization was that WE ARE NOT DOG PEOPLE! I know that Sadie will get through the puppy phase and be a calm, gentle, family dog. But nothing about dog ownership has worked for us, so we're calling it quits for good.

So I think (hope, pray) that I found a nice home for Sadie. And unfortunately for our kids, we will never own a dog again. It's not fair to the poor animals, and I feel sad for Tessie and Sadie that they had to be the ones to teach us our lesson. I know that our home will be a more peaceful place, and that my stress level just went down a ton. So why am I bawling?

I'm trying to hide my sadness from the kids, because they're already upset. I guess I'll go help them build a house for the cats. That should distract them, right?

Goodbye, Sadie. We'll miss you. (I know, hubby, you won't. But I will, and the kids will for a long time.)