Katie's going through a new phase, and let me tell you - it's one I'm not comfortable with at all. Lately when we've got a group of kids together playing, particularly at our house, she separates herself from the group and feels sorry for herself that the kids aren't begging her for her presence. This involves a lot of sulking and hiding in corners. I've tried talking to her and urging her to involve herself in the other kids' play, but to no avail. Even when we've had Tanner repeatedly invite her to join him, she holds back. No amount of attention is enough.
I'm worried that this "victim mentality" is going to become a permanent part of her personality. I do NOT like to see her pulling away from the other kids and feeling sorry for herself. I'm hoping that this is just a phase, and that she'll grow out of it. So I'm asking, have any of you experienced similar phases with your 4-year-olds? Do you have any advice on how to handle it, or is there hope that she'll grow out of it? For now, I'm trying to explain to her that it's her responsibility to make herself a part of the group. I want to be sensitive to her emotions, but I don't want to encourage the behavior. Any ideas?
4 comments:
Oh...how heartbreakingly pretty she looks. I hope she ended up having fun today. My boys sure did. They kept telling me on the way home that they didn't want to leave. You are an absolute angel, Melanie.
I have been thinking about your post & wanting to come up with something good to give for advice. I'm failing, though. Boys are different, and so I haven't dealt with this one. But you have my empathy. Hopefully someone will be able to give you advice to help. And I'll try to watch out for her when she's around my boys & make sure they are including her.
And, I love the picture. She is such a cute girl!
She is soooo cute! Easton LOVES her so anytime she is feeling like nobody wants to play then I am sure Easton will be up for it. I'm thinking that maybe that is one of the perks of having boys so that we won't have to worry about stuff like that. I just wouldn't worry about it too much yet until you find out if it is a phase or if it is lasting. I think it is great that you tell her to put herself out there so that puts her focus back onto herself instead of feeling like the victim of others. Just keep being the good mom that you are and she will be fine.
It sounds like a phase to me, Melanie. Hopefully it will be a short one! I know she gets tons of love and attention from her family, so that's not the problem! It sounds like you're doing a great job of encouraging her to get herself involved without encouraging the victim mentality.
How is Tanner doing?
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