Yesterday was a hectic day. It was the first Thursday of the month, meaning that I had to put together a new MusicMakers class (my little weekly music group). I had left most of the work for the last minute, so I needed to run around town gathering music & props & stuff. So by 9 am, the kids and I were dressed and out the door. I decided to stop at the gas station and treat myself to a cup of hot chocolate for the morning's errands. As I paid for my drink, I had a flashback to my former life. For almost 8 years, I worked as a banker. I stopped on my way to work on many mornings to grab a quick bite or a drink - anything to delay getting to the office. I loved my customers at the bank, but it was a super stressful job and I worked with some unsavory people, so I remember quite well the feeling of dread I had every morning as I headed to work.
As I exited the gas station yesterday, I felt funny, surrounded by people headed off to their various jobs. I had on jeans and cute new shoes, and I wondered if any of them wondered what kind of job I was headed to. As I got in the van, where my cute kids were laughing their heads off to the DVD they were watching, I realized how lucky I am.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities. It's hard work being a mom and running a household - I'm sure I don't have to tell you! There's always so much to be done, and a lot of times, the kids either keep me from getting as much done as I could, or they undo the things that I do (like housework!). I never get a break from Carter's new 2-year-old attitude, and I don't get a lot of adult conversation. I sometimes feel very lonely.
So here's the upside: I get to wear whatever I want. I don't get to decide when I wake up (I guess I could, if I wanted to get up before 6), and I have to work around naps and grumpy moods, but for the most part I get to plan my own day. I decide what to do when. And I get to spend all day with my kids. (Believe me, I don't always realize how lucky I am in that regard.) I can be silly, and spend as much time playing as I'll allow myself. I get to witness the hilarious conversations that 2- and 4-year-olds have with each other. I get to pick them up when they get hurt and dry their tears and love them back to happiness. As I write this, I'm watching their adorable little bodies bounce up and down on the trampoline as they laugh hysterically.
The bottom line is, I love what I do. I need to keep this in my mind all of the time. I would be so much happier focusing on the good, and I'd be a better mom to my kids. I hope I can hold onto these thoughts and feelings for a long time.
(By the way, I know I've written similar posts before. I apologize for the redundancy.)
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4 comments:
Isn't it wonderful to know that you really are happy where you are-- despite the tremendous challenges of your current career?! Being a full-time mother and housewife really is a cool job. But holy cow-- is there ever a paid day off? :-)
Very well put, Mel. I think that every "bag" of duties our life brings us has good & bad aspects. It IS hard being home; sometimes, I think its harder than going out of the home to work. The pleasures & rewards of being home are so wonderful though, and they are priceless. You are doing a good and admirable thing by being home with them! Enjoy them being little; it goes too fast.
I agree we do have the best job! I learned that the hard way last year while working. I would rather be doing this any day. Thanks so much for that blanket. You are so busy and I am so happy you were able to do that for Landon. I was using it yesterday around my family and they all LOVE it!
Thank you for reminding me that what I do at home is important and that I am blessed to be able to stay at home with the kids. Love your posts sweet lady. Will you give me your e-mail address to invite you to my site? nsfarrer@xmission.com. Thanks! :)
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