To my neighbors

Dear homeowners,

My kids and I took a long walk through the neighborhood today. We thoroughly enjoyed gazing upon your houses and your yards. Some of you obviously take great pains to make your surroundings beautiful. I tried to pay close attention to what combinations of flowers you planted and the way you arranged them. I'm sure it will boost your ego when you see your hard work mimicked in my flowerbeds next year.

Now to those of you who don't have as much time for yardwork. Believe me when I tell you that my children were more impressed with your yards full of "dandy flowers" than with any of the others they saw. One house we passed seemed to have only "dandy flowers," which had gone to seed and were in their white puffball stage. My daughter gleefully exclaimed, "Look how beautiful, Mom! I wish we could have that yard and they can have ours!" I'm not actually offering to make this trade, but I want you to know that there are people who appreciate the brand of beauty you have to offer.

And lastly, to those of you with dogs. I would really appreciate it if you would keep your dogs fenced or somehow limit them to the confines of your own yard. My dog, though she is only 6 months old, is large enough to drag me and my 1-ton stroller down the street. The entire right side of my body is weak from pulling against my gigantic puppy as she strained to defend herself against your dogs. Even if your dog is a tiny little thing, it makes it really hard for me to pass your house as it follows us down the street. I'm a tough girl, but I can only counteract so much angry barking dog weight with my tiny little body.

My kids and I look forward to dragging the dog (or being dragged by the dog) past your house again tomorrow. Feel free to wave and hold tightly to your dog's leash as we pass.

Sincerely,

Me